In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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