Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
