She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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