A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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