My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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