You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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