Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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