You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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