So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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