THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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