Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
My ATM looks so different sober.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
