If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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