i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
