just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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