pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize