I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Sober January is a disaster.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
