I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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