Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
