please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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