I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize