And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize