you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
pop tarts are not kleenex
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
