Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
