I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
