Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
