the new term for farting is butt boxing.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
