So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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