Already got asked if we're dating
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
