I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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