Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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