i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
