so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize