just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
