12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
