every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
