he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
