Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
