she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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