Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
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