I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
