I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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