Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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