Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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