This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
