I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Randomize
