I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
