apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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