so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
