I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
