Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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