so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize