Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing

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(312): View more from Illinois

Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job

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(678): View more from Georgia

My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU

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(310): View more from California

Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.

(310): View more from California

Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(815): View more from Illinois

May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.

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(801): View more from Utah

He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.

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(407): View more from Florida

Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?

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