Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.

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  (202): Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up. http://tfl.nu/bgl4
  Replies (11) Good night (1493) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on

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  (214): Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on http://tfl.nu/x4zw
  Replies (11) Good night (1102) Bad night (1192)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.

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  (323): Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle. http://tfl.nu/1g9t
  Replies (4) Good night (1016) Bad night (3807)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life

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  (507): Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life http://tfl.nu/jtus
  Replies (21) Good night (3611) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.

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  (610): As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet. http://tfl.nu/swmp
  Replies (18) Good night (10145) Bad night (1062)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.

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  (314): I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time. http://tfl.nu/5nj6
  Replies (28) Good night (1816) Bad night (3884)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea

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  (574): almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea http://tfl.nu/8a1h
  Replies (1) Good night (1117) Bad night (3387)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.

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  (817): he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup. http://tfl.nu/cgag
  Replies (6) Good night (2721) Bad night (1006)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.

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  (207): He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ. http://tfl.nu/rtl1
  Replies (25) Good night (9667) Bad night (1122)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.

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  (989): I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made. http://tfl.nu/gowl
  Replies (6) Good night (3839) Bad night (1009)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.

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  (601): Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin. http://tfl.nu/g9sf
  Replies (36) Good night (4258) Bad night (1792)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.

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  (336): I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years. http://tfl.nu/1nws
  Replies (18) Good night (1488) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic

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  (502): I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic http://tfl.nu/cgjl
  Replies (2) Good night (934) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King

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  (805): fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King http://tfl.nu/soey
  Replies (2) Good night (490) Bad night (905)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen

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  (253): The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen http://tfl.nu/uzjk
  Replies (0) Good night (194) Bad night (591)

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