I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block