OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
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