I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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