I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
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All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
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Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.