Kareoke will never be a sober sport
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
