I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He shit in the fireplace
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