Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
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