He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
